Things are changing around here….
Last summer we moved to Fresno and Jacob started his internal medicine residency. The first few months were some of the hardest rotations of first year and we were feeling it. I noticed by the end of the first rotation that Jacob didn’t seem very happy and already seemed disenchanted with the hospital life he thought he wanted.
In September he did a rotation with a psychiatry resident who he became good friends with. The resident told him how amazing psychiatry was and what a good fit Jacob would be for it. Almost every night Jacob came home talking about psychiatry. At first, I wouldn’t even engage in the conversation. I figured it was just something he needed to talk through and confirm that he had already made the right decision with internal. But after a couple weeks I started to realize just how unhappy he was doing internal medicine and how seriously interested he was in psychiatry. I thought a lot about it and realized two things. 1- If he wants to make a change, now is the time to do it. It would be terrible to get to this point later in the process. 2- If he stayed in internal medicine just because of me, we could both have a very unhappy future.
So we started talking about seriously changing residencies. And we had to jump into the process head first because the application season was already underway. (I am so grateful he had this realization in September and not in February when it would have been to late to do anything this year.) I helped him get his application ready and he sent it out to as many 2nd year positions as we could find and also some 1st year positions.
He met with his program director in early November to make it official. She was extremely supportive but that was the point of no return. The program would be interviewing to fill his spot for next year. The next day I found out I was pregnant. We had been trying for several months and it didn’t even occur to me that we would get pregnant the month we did and I definitely didn’t do the math to realize the due date timing. Jacob will finish his residency here around June 22nd and his new residency will start by July 1st, at the latest. Baby is due July 11. Yikes.
And that’s the reason why I never shared any of this before now. The stress of applying to residency again was bad enough, but the timing of the new baby combined, it was just more than I could handle. It was easier for people not to know because then I could just tuck it away in my brain and try to think about it as little as possible. There was nothing I could do to make the process less stressful. There was nothing I could do to try and make plans about moving and the baby. So it was easier to not think about it and easier to not have people asking me about it. It’s also why we waited so long to announce the pregnancy. In my mind, it was all interconnected.
I got hit with morning sickness around Thanksgiving and it didn’t let up until February. Jacob spent all 3 weeks of his remaining vacation time going on interviews in January. That was a rough month and I hated that we had to use all his precious time off to do these interviews (which also cost us a fortune.)
Which brings us to March. We found out on the 11th that he had matched. And then the long wait all week to find out where. It was a lot different this year doing it as transfer students compared to last year when all my girlfriends were going through the same agony with me. Thursday night and Friday morning were the most agonizing. But finally we opened the e-mail and found out we are moving to
I can’t begin to tell you what an answer to prayers this is. More on that soon!!